This is it, it's 2020. For most people it's exciting because it's the start of a new decade. For me it's exciting because I'm turning 50. All my life I've been excited about my birthday. Sure as a kids we're generally excited about birthdays, but this spread into adulthood, because I was acutely aware of the fragility of life from a young age. Too many people are denied the privilege of growing old, so I believe that birthdays are something to be celebrated and life something to be made the most of.
So, turning 50, why is this an important year? Not because I feel like I'm getting old, although I have to tell you that is creeping in a little, I am human after all. I'm excited, because finally, I'm starting to understand myself. I mean, it's taken this long, but I'm finally getting to know what I'm really like and also getting to know what I really want to be li
ke. With that comes accepting and loving myself. Looking in the mirror and feeling compassion and kindness instead of judgement and criticism.
Here's the thing, if for any reason at all you were worried as a child about being rejected or not loved, you might have reason to hang back and not put yourself out there. You might not have taken the chances when you were growing up to test out your personality because you were too worried about being abandoned. You can then become an adult who spends more time being who you think other people want you to be instead of who you actually are.
Conversely, you might be all out there, saying you don't care what people think. Both can be ways of coping with the fear of being rejected, being afraid of not being enough.
What I've discovered over the last ten years is that we are all amazing, interesting, and wonderful people who can both do great things and make horrible mistakes. So, here's to being 50, and being old enough to know and love myself the way my mother would have.
Now go out and change the world.