Are there bad apples?

There’s nothing like a global pandemic to have you re-evaluating your whole life. Whether it’s because you came face to face with your own mortality and all that brings, or you realize how tenuous your job security is, or the people you thought were good people are behaving in ways you can’t even imagine, or people you didn’t like are stepping up in a way you couldn’t ever have imagined.

The whole world has been turned upside down like we are in a massive snow globe that some unseen hand picked up, shook and is watching to see where all the snow settles. It’s not surprising to me that people are scared, grumpy, excited, sad, lonely… the whole gamut of emotions. Nothing is off the table because most of us haven’t had a situation like this in our lifetime. It’s a critical branch in our timelines where we decide who we want to be next and how we want to position ourselves to come out of this challenge.

Some people believe that when there is a crisis you will see the real measure of a person. What I’ve learned through my years of study, counselling people, and personal experience is that in a crisis you will learn how much trauma or anger a person is holding onto. The person that isn’t helping their neighbour, or the person that is hoarding? They are engaged in their fight or flight systems and are merely trying to survive. Some people are pushed into this more easily than others because of events in their own lives.

This is not an excuse to behave badly or accept bad behaviour. Understanding is the first step. Wanting to survive is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s what our whole biology is geared to do. Once we know that our behaviour is a survival mechanism, we can choose a behaviour that will help us feel or be safe that will not be destructive.

How we grow enough to handle these challenges is to be in them, make mistakes, learn from people who handle them gracefully or heroically, and want to do better next time.

Always encourage people to reflect and do better. Because they can. We all can. Behaviours come from our thoughts, which come from our beliefs, which come from a complex interplay of genetics and every piece of information we’ve interacted within our lives up until this moment.

Remember, we are all perfectly imperfect, which means we don’t always act with grace under pressure.

Now go out there and embrace your imperfection.



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