In my search for happiness I've discovered that there are some key characteristics which people who are happy share. I call them the four pillars of happiness.
Without these 4 pillars you likely find yourself the victim of the committee that meets in your head and often has only nasty things to say. You might also find yourself longing for but never finding love. You'll be afraid of being judged, even while you're secretly (or not so secretly) judging others and the one I see the most is blaming everyone else for your unhappiness and crappy life.
So how do you change those things in your life? It's by discovering and practicing the 4 Pillars of Happiness.
Pillar numero uno is to discover what makes you unique. It's also to learn how to tell what is unique about other people. This helps increase your self confidence and can be used to handily combat the nasty voices in your head. Because really, if you know you're special and have a purpose in life, you can just thank those voices for sharing and get on to thinking all the amazing things that are true about yourself.
The second pillar is love. Love you first. Then love everyone and everything else. People, animals, nature. Spread the love around. Whenever you are talking to yourself or anyone else take the time to stop and think first whether you are coming from a place of love or not. If not, bite your lip and go take five. Or ten or however long you need to get back into the warm fuzzy love space.
Pillar number three is acceptance. Generally this is a by product of love. I mean if you love someone you accept them for who they are. Don't forget, this also starts with yourself. How you see everyone else is a a reflection of how you see yourself. So if you're having a hard time accepting others, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself what you aren't accepting about you. And hey, you're amazing so really there is no good reason not to!
The final pillar is to be RESPONSIBLE. No I don't mean taking the garbage out on time or paying your bills. Although that's good stuff too. I mean being emotionally responsible. No one else can make you feel anything. No one else can put you in a situation you don't want to be in. So if you find yourself saying that someone else is to blame for how you feel, or where you are in life, ask yourself why you're willing to give so much power over your happiness to someone else? Really, really we all choose our experiences and our responses. Yes, people do things to us and yes, things happen in life, AND we get to choose how we feel and react. Isn't that great? Really when I got this, it was the most horrible and exhilerating moment of my life! You mean I got myself into this mess??? Not cool Melanie. But hey, the good news was, that meant I could get myself out. And I did. :)
Practice and master the four pillars of happiness. You'll be glad you did.