One of the most interesting things I come across in my practice and in my own personal exploration is that at the bottom of most unhappiness is a fear of being unloveable. When I first noticed that in myself my immediate thought was, that doesn't make sense. I know that although I'm not perfect (far from it) there are a lot of loveable things about me! How could I possibly be worried about being unloveable?
It basically goes back to your childhood as, in my not so humble opinion, most things do. It really is quite logical when you think about it like this. When you are a child you are completely dependent upon your caregivers (parents) for your actual physical survival. We are born as infants with this innate knowing and we
right away see how our behaviour effects what kind of care we receive. So, we notice then when we are "good" (loveable) we are taken care of and when we are "bad" that care is withdrawn. So, if our parents for whatever reason, lead us to form the belief that we will only be taken care of when we behave in a certain way (good, bad or otherwise) doesn't it make sense that we will continue to act like that as an adult? Because in our minds, our very lives depend on it.
Always remember you have the choice to stop and think about why you are feeling any emotion you have.
If you would like to read more about this, here is a great article on Psychology Today.
To conquer your fears, you have to get to the root of them...